Dear Deb, 
We have had an affair that has lasted 25 years ... we both are and have been marred to others ever since day one ... it is very hard, more so than being married, very wild and desirable, but also very lonely and painful at times. For anyone who is contemplating the idea, in my opinion, falling in love and marrying your lover would be so much better than having to share him with another and also attempt to allow yourself to share your emotions with another.  We both have children and grandchildren and it would have been so nice to have been able to have shared them with each other. We love each other, we both admit that, but we both have mutually agreed to remain lovers for "LIFE", and husband and wife to others. Good luck to Rainman...it really does take LUCK ... and hard work and a lot of self discipline.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this matter. Click here to read the letter from Rainman, on affairs.

comment from one of our viewers....
You should try being the wife of your lover, if you think your life sucks so badly, do you really think your husband and his wife do not have a clue? Let me assure you they do. Maybe they realize that this is something you feel you have to do to make your life more complete, and better for you, and maybe they feel that this way of life may be better then loosing you altogether. Maybe you should look at what they are sacrificing for you instead of thinking how exciting forbidden love can be, how would you feel if your husband was messing around on you???

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