Dear Deb,

I have been seeing this guy for almost six months and everything is perfect, but I feel there should be more romance in our relationship. I constantly send him loving e-greetings and cards and tell him all the time that I miss him and I love him. He tells me everyday he loves me, but it seems to always be after I say it. He will say "I love you too". Sometimes in the middle of nowhere I will just tell him I love him. I wish he would just say it without reason. We both are tight on cash, but I don't feel that that should sacrifice us having to do things together. I wish he would just surprise me and take me for a walk on the beach, or even just pick me a flower if we go somewhere. Those things cost nothing but mean the world to me. I drop hints like crazy. He is normally very sweet and loving when I am with him in person, but on the phone he is just so....dead. Our conversations aren't conversations. I feel like I am being the romantic one and giving but not receiving. He is sweet with words most of the time, but I need some action ... am I too greedy? I would give everything for him, but its so frustrating when we are chatting on the net together or on the phone and there is dead silence ... so I will wait until he says something, but it never happens and I end up saying something just to break the silence.  I sometimes don't want to say I miss him anymore because I feel like "why should I tell him all that when he never says it first?" I know for sure if I say it, he will say it with a "too" on the end. Don't get me wrong, I know  he means it ... and he does have his romantic side, but I want to see more of it. If I tell him what I just told you, he is sensitive and may take it the wrong way. I don't want to expect too much ... what do you think? Please write back ASAP !!!!! :)

A.  People don't always act like we expect they would. You have a lively personality and are not afraid to express yourself ... but not everyone is like this. Be careful of expectations, they can really let you down. You know, he may be intimidated by your openness and abilities, and feel that whatever he does will be inferior. This is the sort of stuff that holds people back.

Most often it is the woman who sets the tone in the relationship. I think you should either be satisfied with being the "romantic one" in this relationship and accept him for who he is OR consider the possibility that
you two are not right together. 
Deb

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