Dear Deb,
I have been on and off with this guy for about a year.  We are kind of serious.  Well, my birthday was this past Friday and we were suppose to go out to celebrate --  I even left my friends early, so I  wouldn't be late to meet him!  So he calls me like ten minutes after I get home and asks me what I want to do.  I didn't know so I asked him what he wanted to do.  He told me that he wanted to take me to this club that is pretty popular here, but I told him that I was too tired, because I was at an all night party the night before.  Well, then he asked me what I felt like doing, I told him I didn't know!  Well to make a long story short, he told me that he really wanted to go to the club since he hadn't been there for a while and he just didn't feel like sitting around to watch a movie!  So I said "I guess this is what I get for wanting to spend time with you on my B-day!". I told him to go to the club and I hung up the phone!  That was Friday and he hasn't called me since!  What do I do?  I like him a lot, but he hurt me. I mean if it were just a date I probably would have gone to the club with him and said that I get to choose where we go on the next date -- but this was a special day!  Should I call him or should I just get the hint that it is over?  I would think that he'd have called already if he really cared about me! Help me please!

Well, perhaps you should've told him what you wanted to do. Guys need direction. I understand that it was your birthday and that you had expectations for that special day. That is usually the cause of upset ... we let our expectations get the better of us. Just because we view something as the "right thing to do" it doesn't  mean other people do. You hung up on him, so I think that it would be OK for you to call him. Maybe you could tell him that you were a little extra sensitive because it was your Birthday. If this guy is a good guy, then it would be worth a shot to try to clean things up. I wish you the best.

Deb

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