I have a problem.  My father is mean to us at our house but everybody thinks he is nice and friendly.  If somebody gets mad at us, he always takes their side.  He punishes us by beating with a switch that is very thick.  He usually picks on my brother.  He hurts my mom too.  She has a bad back and he put his knee in it on purpose one time.  He's done all kinds of terrible things.  He takes my brother's money and he drinks it all up.  If he does something mean and you don't like it, he keeps doing it until you smile.  I can't take this.  I don't know what to do. I tried to ask my mother to make him stop poking me in my side and my neck all the time, but he told her I have to get used to men touching me for when I am grown.  I don't know what to do because he does these mean things right in front of people sometimes and they still think he is ok.  Like getting drunk and beating up my brother (in front of company) but everybody acted like it was no biggy.  Nobody would do anything, even relatives.  Everything is just tense and scared when he is at home.  When he goes out to drink everybody relaxes.  When its getting later and later and later I cannot sleep until he is back and snoring very deeply, because he won't mess with anybody then.   I do not love my father at all.  I wish he would get in a drunk driving accident and leave us all in peace. 

I'm sure it's very upsetting for you to see this man "get away" with such horrible behavior. Just because people don't say anything, doesn't mean they can't see that he is doing wrong. People often don't know how to behave in situations like this and fear that they may make things worse. I'm sorry to hear that you and your family have been subjected to this abuse. My advice to you is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (24hrs.) You could also look in your phone book under community service numbers. There should be several listings for alcohol abuse, child abuse, maltreatment and general family services.  If you are afraid that your father will find out that you called, tell them that. I'm sure you can remain anonymous. No one should have to put up with what you are going through. I'm not as experienced as the people associated with the "abuse hotlines" but I'm sure it's wise to say this ... don't provoke your father, try to avoid doing things that would make him angry. Try your best to stay away from him when he is drunk (make excuses, say you have to go to the bathroom or something in hopes that he will pass out and leave you alone). Encourage your brother to do the same. I know you hate your father and I'm sure it's hard to control your anger at times, but a provoked and angry drunk is like a loaded gun waiting to go off and it would be well worth biting your tongue for safety's sake. I am not saying that what he is doing should go unnoticed ... that's why there are National Abuse Hotlines. Please call them as soon as possible. 

 Here is another letter about abuse that you might like to read that has many useful web links too click here

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