Dear Deb,
 I've been having problems understanding why my boyfriend searches the net for porn when he has me living with him. He looks at all kinds of porno when I run to the store. I've told him before that it doesn't bother me that he does it, but I don't understand why he does it behind my back. Can you give me an idea why he would do that? I also have a close friend who has a new husband that does the same thing. What's the deal here?
Becky

Dear Becky,
Don't take it personally ... it has nothing to do with you. Guys like the "forbidden" ... searching for porn on the net satisfies their voyeuristic nature too. It's also like a big hunt ... searching and conquering on the net. I'm sure he doesn't want to upset you (or get caught in the act, perhaps looking at something that would not be considered "normal") and that's probably why he waits until you leave the house. A guy could be
living with a supermodel and still look at porn ... go figure.
Deb

submitted by one of our viewers....
The truth about men and pornography: 
Speaking from the male point of view, pornography is not a personal thing of any sort. Men are slaves to their prostate glands. The more the gland produces, the more the man has buildup and the more the man has to relieve the pressure. Imagine if you had a little balloon inside of you that when filled to some specified point, caused you to think of nothing else but sex... would that be something you'd want to have? Of course not. Pornography is a simple means to an end. Don't read anything else into it or you'll go nuts. Men masturbate to pornography. That's about all there is to it. There is no emotional attachment to it. Men are visual, women are less so. Men don't love their wives/girlfriends any less because of nude photos. Men usually begin masturbation to photography at an early age and it sometimes never goes away. It's a private matter, not something the man wants his spouse to be aware of... "Honey, I'm going to masturbate. I'll be right back." In a way, ! be thankful there is pornography - how many men would be seeking actual sexual experiences elsewhere if it didn't exist?

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