Dear Deb ... I would like to be friends with my ex-boyfriend but his new girlfriend does not approve of it

Dear Deb...

Q. Dear Deb... I would like to be friends with my ex-boyfriend but his new girlfriend does not approve of it. We have been off and on for almost six years now and we both realized it is better to be just friends. The problem is, she will not let me talk to him or see him. What should I do? I really need your help. Thanks, Tammy.

A. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. If you were dating a guy who told you he wanted to remain friends with his ex-girlfriend (an ex-girlfriend that he has been on and off with for six years), would you be thrilled about it? If you were her, wouldn't you be wondering when the next time the two of you might be "on" again?

This brings us to the question "Can guys and girls be just friends?" (which was the topic of the movie When Harry Met Sally). Although anything is possible, I would say that most of the time, guys and girls cannot be "just friends." Usually, one person wants more but accepts that less is better than nothing, while the other thrives on the attention. Whatever it is that happened between the two of you that made you decide it's best to just be friends is the crux of the problem here. Maybe you both need to date others and be a apart for a while.

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