Dear Deb...

Q. My wife has no interest in sex -- it's been six months. 


A. Men and women have different needs and it is important that these needs are recognized. A man needs sexual fulfillment, wants his wife to be attractive and fun to be with. Men also need admiration, domestic support, and a little peace and quiet. A woman needs affection, conversation, honesty and openness. She needs family support and financial stability. It is important to try and meet your spouse's needs in a way that will be enjoyable so you won't resent it. 

Stress, Anxiety, and Exhaustion can also kill the desire for sex.

Don't complain to your wife about the lack of sex. Just imagine how you might feel if she nagged you and told you weren't making enough money. Human nature is such that we often develop aversions. An aversion is a feeling of 
repugnance (extreme dislike) toward something with a desire to avoid or turn from it. So, complaining, nagging, yelling and screaming won't make her wild with desire. 

Consider meeting your wife's needs in a way that would be fun and exciting for you as well and I bet you'll find that a few of your needs will be met too. For example, dream up a romantic evening for just the two of you. Have fun with this, make it exciting from the moment you ask her. You might want to leave her a romantic note as an invitation, flatter her and make her feel good about herself so she is more inclined to want to be with you. Talk to her, hold her hand and recall a romantic time you had together when you were dating. Rekindle the flames that were once there by recalling the past. Enjoy yourselves.


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