Dear Deb...

Q. Dear Deb... I have been asked to travel to Salome, Arizona to help my aunt and uncle at their Bakery. I worked there last winter. At that time, Sarah, my cousin, lived in the small town. This year, Sarah has moved to the big city. Debra (another cousin) still lives there. At home, here in Washington, my best friend Nickki, is expecting a child in December. I may have to watch her 2 year old daughter when Nickki goes into labor. Should I stay and help Nickki, or go to Arizona and help at the Salome Bakery (where they really need some extra help during the busy season)?


A. It's nice to be needed, and now you're faced with having to make a decision of what to do. I will help you. Let's look at your two choices. Let's say you go to Salome... what are some of the possible benefits of choosing that path? Helping your family? Making money? Spending time with Debra? What else? Now, what is the downside of going to Salome? Small town? Away from home? What else? If you stay at home... what are the possible benefits? Helping your friend Nickki? What else? What is the downside of staying in Washington? Let's take this as step one. I'll be waiting for your reply.


Q. Thank you for helping me try to break down my dilemma. Some of the benefits of going to Salome... The nice dry weather, I have arthritis and that's why I went last year. But I also found it very difficult to be away from my animals and family. The benefits of staying in Washington... I can be with my animals, family, and best friend. Plus I really missed the fall we have here. I'm really torn on what to do, I do want to help in the bakery, but I also want to experience the autumn and be with my loved ones. I can't decide on what's more pressing. Any thoughts would be greatly accepted.


A. It sounds like you'd really rather stay at home in Washington and be with your family, friends and pets. Indecision is very stressful. Quite often we (us humans) think in terms of "one way or the other" without thinking about "possibilities". Is there any way you can help your family find a replacement for you at the bakery? Anne, I'll never tell you what to do, but I'll support you in your decision. Please let me know how it turns out for you.

REPLY from Anne...

Well Deb, I think I've decided to go to Arizona for about a month and a half, then come home for the holidays and stay back home for about 6 weeks. That way I can still help in the early busy season and also have the family time and be here when Nickki delivers (she found out today that she'll be having a boy!!).So I guess I get the best of both worlds. I'll miss the fall but worse things have happened to me. Thank you for helping me, I greatly appreciate it. Your questions helped me think of different sides and so I thank you again.


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